Notes from cocktail napkins...

Notes from cocktail napkins...

 

As we celebrate the 4th of July, the anniversary of our Independence, I had a few thoughts on some parallels in the world of sports, where there are many oppressed fans and players longing to be free from the yoke of tyranny. You don't have to look very far to find figures in the world of Sport who resemble King George III of England. Just watch a baseball game...

 

Umpires need to be over thrown and replaced by robots. Between instant replay and the Cyclops technology used in Tennis, the tools exist for Baseball to take the fallible ego maniacal, often ill-tempered human element out of the game.

 

Robots don't hold grudges for being "shown up" by a manager arguing a call or a player taking an extra few seconds to step out of the batter's box over a blown a strike call. With robots there won't be any blown calls. Robots don't strut around after an arm work out at the gym. Umpires like a monarch of old think the world revolves around them. Time for the fans to show these clowns who truly has the power.

 

Major League Baseball's umpires are the modern day equivalent of an absolute monarch...and it's time to put them out to pasture. And we could control the robots, unlike the current umpire's union, we have the remote control less you fear some kind of rise of the machines.

 

The tyranny of the major league umpire must come to an end! Along with all the commissioners of the major sports who also must be over thrown.

 

Where is it written that all professional sports leagues' commissioners rule for life like The King of England? Eventually these jerky gas bags like David Stern and Bud Selig abdicate, but why should they have the unlimited power to damage their sport for decades without anyone questioning their ability to do their job?

 

As our founding fathers envisioned the running of our country, so too should sports be ruled by the people (or players)...not some aloof idiot autocrat. I say term limits for all commissioners! 

 

If NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was King of England in the 18th Century, the Brits would have beaten the French to the idea of the guillotine. 

 

How a commissioner gets to keep his job while 3 work stoppages occur during his 20 years in office (including an entire lost season in 2004) is just plain mystifying.

 

The NFL should have elections every 4 years where former players, team executives and even NFL lackeys can all run for the post of commissioner.

 

It should be that way in all sports, then the fans who pay all these clowns' freight would finally have a voice or a vote. As a matter of fact...fans should be allowed to run for the post of commissioner too! Isn't that what America is supposed to be about? Everyone gets a shot at the title, not just a bunch of lawyers handpicked by greedy owners! 

 

That would be true representation of the sports nation.

 

And lets not forget that bastion of Fascism known as the NCAA. Arbitrarily passing judgment on players and programs like some aloof potentate. The tyranny of the NCAA is by the far the most easily fixed. We just need some AD's and University presidents to show the same resolve our founding fathers but forth when they told King George to pound sand. The USS, United Sports Schools (or whatever you want to call the 64 or 75 biggest football programs) could declare independence. 

 

Just like the new United States reached out to France for help in The Revolutionary War, the new independent super conference could cut deals with new TV networks, other than ABC/ESPN...like NBC for instance.

 

Time for sports fans to take a cue from Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace and demand a voice in how our favorite sports are run!

 

They may take our Lazy-Boy, Sunday ticket and nachos... but they'll never take our Freedom!!! Alright who's with me?